The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. 1. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. 4. 2. 4. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. It's impossible for things to be perfect. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. 4. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Being single is much better than being married. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Were already married, remember?! Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. How Am I Still Alive. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. It must have been a long, lonely journey. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. 3. No, waitIm actually plural. 36. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Not. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. The best I can be. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 32. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. You a cop? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. 14. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. 25. Im always there when I need me. Who knows, they might just do it. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. "Hey You, I'm really good. We cant always get what we want now, can we? It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Learn more about us here. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. I'm fine. I hope you like some of them. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Finnish with this conversation! Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 17. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Sorry, life. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Follow for more funny content!! can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Life is up to something. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Pick your struggle. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Going strong. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. 1. Why do you ask? Is that a scar on your face? Not Bad. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. 2. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Dont wake me up yet. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. 64. Because if you are, youre doing it right. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. What should I doI like you too much. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Do you want the short or the detailed version? "Still alive" is polite. 68. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. (Say it like he or. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. I agree, thanks for sharing. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. I dont think youre stupid. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Have you met food? Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Liked what you just read? Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. 9. Chuck Bass? 24. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Because your ass is out of this world! I hope you are at your best too. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Most of the time, that is not true. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. However, I dont recall anything about morons. Scroll down! Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). 75. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Oh, what a long list. Usually, people live and learn. Me being single is just a conspiracy! 11. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Well, are you? That's boyfriend material. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. This one is a bit long. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Living the dream! Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. 61. Youll go far someday. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. So, how does average sound? You may join me, though. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. 94. Reply. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Nowadays, potential mates need money. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. 92. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. So, you changed your mind? I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Reply. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. I repeat I am plural! You're the reason God created the middle finger. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. - Anonymous. 6. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. I have been going through GOT in my work life. WHY!? As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Want to equip yourself with more responses? If I had a tail, I would wag it! If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Your email address will not be published. Then you die. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? 7. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? This one kills me! . Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? What do you say when people ask you that? Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 78. Your hair looks great! (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. 18. 98. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Are you Jamaican? This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. "I'm alright, mate". IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 7. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. 15. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Sort of. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. I suggest you do a little soul searching. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Could be better, though. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. I am not sure what you mean. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. 65. Was that comment meant to offend me? If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. I love you. Feel my shirt. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. What do you mean Im still single. 8. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Your email address will not be published. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. You win the internet. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are I really thought you already knew. 52. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! No, they're prison pants. Hanging on. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. I'm used to it, anyway. 96. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". 88. Youre free to go. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. *wink*. "Alright. 86. Shane from The L Word? A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Are you going to marry me? My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. (perfect for vegans). So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. How impressive! This one is bound to get a laugh. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Could be payday. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Are you flirting with me right now? If you are, then maybe were meant to be! You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Someone took their costume way too seriously. It lets him know that you love spending time together. I just woke up like that one day. Hanging by a thread. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Because they are already taking their time. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. I learned my lesson. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. 5. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. 4. Living an amazing dream. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. The police? Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. 66. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. "Yeah, you're three years late. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. 37. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. In fact, they're taking too much of it. 40. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. 2. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. No, keep talking. Sounds like effort to me. Im single by choice. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Still with us. and our This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. My bad, its just your mouth. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. I havent met the right one yet. 1. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. 18. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. Thank you, it made my day. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. 3. Don't Push It Too Far. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Brilliant! There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever.